“I think I’ve attempted to shield the public or whoever from seeing parts of myself that I felt were not consistent with whatever I was trying to put forward.”
“That experience was brand new to me. Historically, I actually haven’t been as forthcoming,” Jones tells Complex. “I think I’ve attempted to shield the public or whoever from seeing parts of myself that I felt were not consistent with whatever I was trying to put forward. That really led me to a place where I felt very misunderstood. I think I realized I was creating a box for myself, rather than just expressing [myself] openly.”
As previously mentioned, choosing to put yourself out there opens the floodgates for trolls, judgment, and unnecessary chatter that could throw even the most confident human off their game. However, once the musical storyteller learned to accept himself—flaws and all—he had an epiphany that not using his talents to share his story (musically or visually) would be nothing less than “hypocritical.”
“After writing an album that was specifically about this radical self-acceptance and nurturing that inner-child to heal [my] past traumas and experiences, it would be hypocritical for me to hold back in the same way when it came to the visual aspect of it,” says Jones.
“[My team] pushing me to really be more open and give more of myself … was sort of an act of faith and of belief in the gospel that I was preaching: not hold back as much and be more honest and forthcoming and authentic.”
But don’t get it twisted, bearing his soul via his latest sonic declaration was “scary.”
“I did have to mentally prepare for people who watched this film to get to know a lot more about me than I was immediately comfortable with,” he explains. In fact, releasing the first project was a bit nail-biting for the rapper as well.
Illustration by Louie Chin
“I just felt a lack of control. I wanted to control. I was so concerned about controlling my image and people’s understanding of me and trying to make sure that everything I did explained me in the most perfect way,” the rapper explains.
While living up to the perfect projected persona may seem like nothing, it’s almost always impossible to maintain such a pristine facade forever.
“The idea of every major decision you have to look at [is] are you being guided by fear of love?,” Jones shares. “It’s been a long five [or] six year process of me trying to slide myself toward the scale of doing as much as I can out of love and as little as I can out of fear.”
“The idea of every major decision you have to look at [is] are you being guided by fear of love?”
To keep a mental and emotional balance, Jones has embarked on several self-care routines over the years, the most recent including daily yoga, “which is pretty new to me,” he tells us.
“I’ve been through a lot of different routines …[but I’m] three to four months in on a new one. It feels like the most concrete thing I’ve done,” the East Coast lyricist explains. “I’m waking up, I’m working out, and doing yoga every day. [I’m] also getting out of bed earlier.”
According to Jones, boundaries and focus are the keys to survival.
“I’m creating limitations on when and for how long I write. I’m trying to read a little bit every day,” Jones says. “I’m not necessarily successful at these things one-hundred percent of the time. In entertainment, opportunities will come up [and] different curve balls will be thrown at you.”
He continues, “You’ll be in a session and it’ll go [until] four in the morning unexpectedly because you’re chasing that feeling. I rebelled against technology in the beginning of trying to find a routine, but now I’ve incorporated an app that tracks how on top of things I am. I try [to] walk a decent amount every day, about 8,000 steps and that’s probably where I do some of my best thinking. It’s sort of like walking meditation.”
Illustration by Louie Chin
Of all his self-care routine tactics, the New Jersey emcee says yoga is the most vital part of his day-to-day life, because he wants to take care of his mind and body from a holistic point of view—something Jones believes allows him to “make better art.”
“I just have not been as active, especially in the last couple years due to the pandemic, as I’ve wanted to be. Part of that is I was so focused on creating something sustainable in my career and finding this solid ground,” Jones says. “But I realized in the lead up to making the album that I was neglecting a lot of the other parts of myself. I’m now coming into the understanding that focusing on myself more holistically allows me to make better art, allow[ing] me to be a more thoughtful and reflective person that’s able to make the things I want to make. In the past, I was just burning myself out almost as a badge of honor, but it wasn’t really getting me anywhere.”
“I’m now coming into the understanding that focusing on myself more holistically allows me to make better art.”
Aside from yoga and other daily rituals, Jones says therapy is another method he wants to tap into (once he finds the right person for the job).
“I [went to] some therapy when I was much younger, [but] it didn’t last for very long. That’s one of the things that I’ve kind of been lagging on,” Jones shares. “I do this thing where I go on online and have all these tabs open of therapists, but I haven’t quite found the person yet. That’s on the top of the list of things I need to accomplish this year: find the person I’m going to talk to and start to open up more in that way.”
While Jones may not have the right therapist just yet, he does have a support squad, better known as The Summit. The Summit consists of Jones and two of his closest friends. They’re a come-as-you-are, no-questions-asked, we-always-have-your-back pack who keep each other afloat through life’s challenges. And yes, entertainers do have challenges.
“When one of us is going through something, we float it to the group chat and try to drop what we’re doing and hop on a call [or] FaceTime [or] meet in person and just discuss those things.” Jones explains, “it’s a little bit different from therapy because it’s not this sort of unbiased, opinionless figure that you’re talking to, but it is very helpful to just speak out some of your frustrations … out loud and have it resonate and have people be there to support you.” And let’s be honest, support is hard to find when people assume you always have it together, especially in entertainment.
“We’re not always encouraged to go to those places,” Jones says. “[There’s] a lot of partying and a lot of talking about the victories and successes, but not the struggles.”
So no matter who you are, always remember, the struggle is real, for everyone—rappers included.
*The information contained in this program is not intended to dispense medical advice, and is not intended for self diagnosis or treatment. If you have any questions or concerns about your health, and/or before starting or stopping any treatment or acting upon any information contained in this program, you should contact your own medical physician, or health-care provider.
COMPLEX: Your song “Santa Monica Blvd” is featured on the NBA 2K22 soundtrack, which is a really great look. How did the connection come about?
IDK: I remember: it was, like, 2019, and I made it a goal of mine to be in NBA 2K for the first time, and I got cool with Mike—I forgot his last name—but he’s a guy that used to work up there. I was cool with him on Instagram. I was like, “Look. I’ll come up to the office and meet you.” And from there, our relationship became what it was. So, you know, we’ve been in the game for the past three years now.
How nice are you on NBA 2K?
Truthfully, I’m not the greatest player. I think a lot of any skill that I have comes from playing it for years—since I was younger. But I know so many people who are better than me so I have to be honest and say that I’m not that nice.
Have you played NBA 2K with any of your rapper friends? If so, who’s the nicest that you’ve played against—and, be honest: who won?
I don’t remember, but I’ve watched KD play—all day, for hours—and I feel like he’s the nicest person I know, in general.
You grew up in Maryland, but a lot of people might not know that you were born in England. Do you feel any affinity to London? Is it special when you come out here?
I feel like it’s special when I come to London because, you know, the roots of where I’m from definitely exist there. I’m very proud of the fact that I have two passports. I think that’s cool. It’s an interesting fact that many people don’t know about me. But yeah, I feel good when I come out there—there’s a lot of family that I visit and there’s a particular vibe, musically, that we don’t have in America.
Are you tapped into the British music scene? Anyone you’d potentially collaborate with?
Yeah, I love the British music scene. Pa Salieu is somebody I’ve been listening to for a while!
Over the years, we’ve heard many rappers say they had two options growing up: rap, or aim for the league. Was it the same for you?
No. I think going to school was an option because my parents went to school and had degrees, and that’s what they pushed on me. So I had that in my mind, to be honest.
What do you think, if any, are the transferable skills between rap and basketball?
I think, from problem-solving, strategically putting things together in a fast manner and working with a team, they’re all transferable things.
If you played pro ball, what would be your position?
I would probably be a point guard or shooting guard.
What’s the rap starting 5, and what positions do they play?
I’ve played ball with 21 Savage, Quavo and a few other people. I think Quavo would be a good point guard, me shooting guard… Damn! Who else would be good? Who’s tall? I don’t know. Anyway, all rappers are short. I have to come back to that question.
Who’s the best rap-basketball player that you’ve come across?
That I’ve come across and actually played with? I’d say Pressa. I played with Pressa at 24Hour Fitness in North Hollywood and he was pretty good. I didn’t even know who he was—I didn’t know him as a rapper. He was just good when I played against him.
If you were on an NBA team, which team would it be and why?
If I were on an NBA team, I would probably play with the Lakers because it is the best franchise in basketball history.
What is it about musicians that athletes idolise and vice versa?
I think it’s the ability to do something that we both think is very hard. But it’s very easy for us, you know? So seeing someone make music as a basketball player probably seems challenging, fun, and cool. And then seeing someone play basketball is also a similar thing.
Tell me more about SubTrap.
SubTrap is a project that I put out many years ago that is basically trap music from my perspective as a suburban kid.
Where does IDK fit in amongst today’s rap music industry?
I don’t know if I fit in with anybody. I think I’m cool with everybody, but I think I’ve been focused on creating my world and inviting people if they want to come and hang out.
What do you have coming that we should be tapping into this year?
This new album that’s about to come out any day now!
