We’re in the thick of Mental Health Awareness Month and artists have been sharing their stories. Recently, SZA became so disturbed by messages and comments she was receiving that she deleted her TikTok account and called the internet “demonic.” In a virtual chat with Finish Line for their Community Voices series, the TDE singer expounded on why she has taken her mental well-being seriously, especially as she prepares for the release of her sophomore record.
“Many times I’m like, ‘Damn, I’m about to go be a farmer. My contract is about to expire, I might as well be a farmer,’” said SZA.
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The pressures that come with working on an album and making sure her “deals make sense” have taken their toll, and SZA said social media can become an unhealthy place if left unchecked.
“It’s weird sometimes, when your personal thoughts and feelings align with some of the things people say about you. It’s like, ‘Damn, I think this about myself? I don’t know if this person is so wrong.’ It’s weird, because then it’s like, ‘Damn, what’s wrong with me?’ It’s tough. It’s hard not to fall into that weird hole of self-loathing.”
She even had a moment at the recent Met Gala where she claimed she “snuck out the back” and walked three blocks down the street to take a yellow cab back to her hotel. “I was just overwhelmed. I had too much anxiety to wait for my cab in front of a crowd.”
“The physical exhaustion, the mental exhaustion does not come from making music. I love making music. I love creating. It’s kind of my own source of therapy and meditation, but the exhaustion really comes from expectations, berating, and dehumanizing from outside forces. And that shit makes me feel like, ‘Why am I doing this? Why would I set myself up to be bodied like this on a regular basis?’”
Watch SZA’s interview below.