Believe It or Not, Rappers Struggle Too

Illustrated by Louie Chin

“I think I’ve attempted to shield the public or whoever from seeing parts of myself that I felt were not consistent with whatever I was trying to put forward.”

“That experience was brand new to me. Historically, I actually haven’t been as forthcoming,” Jones tells Complex. “I think I’ve attempted to shield the public or whoever from seeing parts of myself that I felt were not consistent with whatever I was trying to put forward. That really led me to a place where I felt very misunderstood. I think I realized I was creating a box for myself, rather than just expressing [myself] openly.”

As previously mentioned, choosing to put yourself out there opens the floodgates for trolls, judgment, and unnecessary chatter that could throw even the most confident human off their game. However, once the musical storyteller learned to accept himself—flaws and all—he had an epiphany that not using his talents to share his story (musically or visually) would be nothing less than “hypocritical.”

“After writing an album that was specifically about this radical self-acceptance and nurturing that inner-child to heal [my] past traumas and experiences, it would be hypocritical for me to hold back in the same way when it came to the visual aspect of it,” says Jones.

“[My team] pushing me to really be more open and give more of myself … was sort of an act of faith and of belief in the gospel that I was preaching: not hold back as much and be more honest and forthcoming and authentic.”

But don’t get it twisted, bearing his soul via his latest sonic declaration was “scary.” 

“I did have to mentally prepare for people who watched this film to get to know a lot more about me than I was immediately comfortable with,” he explains. In fact, releasing the first project was a bit nail-biting for the rapper as well.

Illustration by Louie Chin

“I just felt a lack of control. I wanted to control. I was so concerned about controlling my image and people’s understanding of me and trying to make sure that everything I did explained me in the most perfect way,” the rapper explains.

While living up to the perfect projected persona may seem like nothing, it’s almost always impossible to maintain such a pristine facade forever. 

“The idea of every major decision you have to look at [is] are you being guided by fear of love?,” Jones shares. “It’s been a long five [or] six year process of me trying to slide myself toward the scale of doing as much as I can out of love and as little as I can out of fear.”

“The idea of every major decision you have to look at [is] are you being guided by fear of love?”

To keep a mental and emotional balance, Jones has embarked on several self-care routines over the years, the most recent including daily yoga, “which is pretty new to me,” he tells us. 

“I’ve been through a lot of different routines …[but I’m] three to four months in on a new one. It feels like the most concrete thing I’ve done,” the East Coast lyricist explains. “I’m waking up, I’m working out, and doing yoga every day. [I’m] also getting out of bed earlier.”

According to Jones, boundaries and focus are the keys to survival.

“I’m creating limitations on when and for how long I write. I’m trying to read a little bit every day,” Jones says. “I’m not necessarily successful at these things one-hundred percent of the time. In entertainment, opportunities will come up [and] different curve balls will be thrown at you.”

He continues, “You’ll be in a session and it’ll go [until] four in the morning unexpectedly because you’re chasing that feeling. I rebelled against technology in the beginning of trying to find a routine, but now I’ve incorporated an app that tracks how on top of things I am. I try [to] walk a decent amount every day, about 8,000 steps and that’s probably where I do some of my best thinking. It’s sort of like walking meditation.”

Illustration by Louie Chin

Of all his self-care routine tactics, the New Jersey emcee says yoga is the most vital part of his day-to-day life, because he wants to take care of his mind and body from a holistic point of view—something Jones believes allows him to “make better art.”

“I just have not been as active, especially in the last couple years due to the pandemic, as I’ve wanted to be. Part of that is I was so focused on creating something sustainable in my career and finding this solid ground,” Jones says. “But I realized in the lead up to making the album that I was neglecting a lot of the other parts of myself. I’m now coming into the understanding that focusing on myself more holistically allows me to make better art, allow[ing] me to be a more thoughtful and reflective person that’s able to make the things I want to make. In the past, I was just burning myself out almost as a badge of honor, but it wasn’t really getting me anywhere.”

“I’m now coming into the understanding that focusing on myself more holistically allows me to make better art.”

Aside from yoga and other daily rituals, Jones says therapy is another method he wants to tap into (once he finds the right person for the job).

“I [went to] some therapy when I was much younger, [but] it didn’t last for very long. That’s one of the things that I’ve kind of been lagging on,” Jones shares. “I do this thing where I go on online and have all these tabs open of therapists, but I haven’t quite found the person yet. That’s on the top of the list of things I need to accomplish this year: find the person I’m going to talk to and start to open up more in that way.”

While Jones may not have the right therapist just yet, he does have a support squad, better known as The Summit. The Summit consists of Jones and two of his closest friends. They’re a come-as-you-are, no-questions-asked, we-always-have-your-back pack who keep each other afloat through life’s challenges. And yes, entertainers do have challenges.

“When one of us is going through something, we float it to the group chat and try to drop what we’re doing and hop on a call [or] FaceTime [or] meet in person and just discuss those things.” Jones explains, “it’s a little bit different from therapy because it’s not this sort of unbiased, opinionless figure that you’re talking to, but it is very helpful to just speak out some of your frustrations … out loud and have it resonate and have people be there to support you.” And let’s be honest, support is hard to find when people assume you always have it together, especially in entertainment.

“We’re not always encouraged to go to those places,” Jones says. “[There’s] a lot of partying and a lot of talking about the victories and successes, but not the struggles.”

So no matter who you are, always remember, the struggle is real, for everyone—rappers included.

 

*The information contained in this program is not intended to dispense medical advice, and is not intended for self diagnosis or treatment. If you have any questions or concerns about your health, and/or before starting or stopping any treatment or acting upon any information contained in this program, you should contact your own medical physician, or health-care provider.

Topaz Jones Is A Funky Historian On The Lush ‘Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma’

The RX is Uproxx Music’s stamp of approval for the best albums, songs, and music stories throughout the year. Inclusion in this category is the highest distinction we can bestow, and signals the most important music being released throughout the year. The RX is the music you need, right now.

On his new album Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma, New Jersey rapper Topaz Jones tries to address some heavy questions. Five years removed from his solitary 2016 hit “Tropicana,” Jones pondered the implications of possibly having a platform with no substance; that isn’t to say that he didn’t have an interesting story to tell, he just had to figure out how to tell it.

In an interview with Rolling Stone, he said, “Now that I have a platform to tell my story, [I had] to really reckon with, well, ‘What is my story? What made me the person I am? What things about myself come from me directly? What things are passed down from my relatives? What’s my generational trauma?’ That was a whole lot of shit to balance out.”

Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma is the result of that introspection, and the method by which Jones ultimately resolved how to best answer those questions: A short film of the same name, detailing his upbringing in Montclair, New Jersey, combining magic realism, documentary, and even edutainment television to place his life in historical, familial, and cultural contexts.

The album, sprinkled with audio clips from the film in which his family members recount beloved anecdotes and dynastic legends, spins out of those ideas to verbally expound Jones’ thoughts on subjects like love, legacy, history, racism, hustling, and dreaming of a better life. Over the 13 whimsical, groovy, lush, and occasionally disorienting tracks, he doesn’t necessarily find all the answers, but then again, this was always more of a “finding yourself in the journey” proposition anyway.

Production-wise, Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma is something of a masterpiece. It’s rare that any artist puts so much thought into instrumentation and expansive genre exploration — especially with how much territory technology has opened up. Jones charts paths through spacey grooves on “Baba 70s,” “Gold,” and “Blue,” incites some hip-wiggling on the dancey “Amphetamines” and “Herringbone,” and stank faces his way through a thicket of throwback, funky hip-hop on “Who?” with Maxo and Phonte Coleman and album closer “Buggin’.”

The live instrumentation evokes smokey lounges, and darkened basement parties from the 1970s, only more timeless. Musically, the technique reinforces the lyrical links Jones traces throughout his family history and nostalgic narratives. The exquisite soundscapes could easily overwhelm a less adept lyricist, but Jones has clearly been using the time since his 2016 album Arcade to sharpen his pen game.

On “Buggin’,” Jones deftly details a twitchy tableau that could just as easily be a scene set in any hood in America, threading a neat metaphorical connection to insects throughout the narrative the way an auteur might draw the eye to a physical placeholder for a conceptual thought — as only befits a rapper turned director turned back to rapper, explaining his vision with dense wordplay and scintillating twists of the tongue.

Likewise, Topaz lets the syllables spill over each other in his verses on “Mirror,” a self-effacing reintroduction to both longtime listeners and potential new fans that highlights his polished gift for both setting a scene and impressing with dazzling displays of verbose wit. On “Herringbone,” he describes a family reunion in such charming, achingly familiar terms, you might be able to taste the collard greens and smell the macaroni baking in the oven.

Throughout the album, the rhymes sit so snugly within the pockets of the soulful beats that listening becomes nearly interactive; Topaz invites you in, and rewards your interest in every unexpected turn of phrase and tempo change. The tales he tells are personal but relatable; he could just as easily be telling any listener’s story, or that of a cousin, brother, or neighbor at a family reunion, recounting the events of the spell since the last get-together.

And that’s really the answer, told both through the film and the album. Our experiences are universal because the same things move us. The same things are important to us. We can put ourselves in Topaz’s shoes just as easily as he can put himself in ours; the same holds true across generations, geography, and any other line we can draw between ourselves and anyone else. Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma is a story about the stories we tell each other and ourselves, the ones that are told to us, and the ones that tell us who we are.

Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma is out now via New Funk Academy / Black Canopy. Get it here.

Topaz Jones Is A Funky Historian On The Lush ‘Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Mama’

The RX is Uproxx Music’s stamp of approval for the best albums, songs, and music stories throughout the year. Inclusion in this category is the highest distinction we can bestow, and signals the most important music being released throughout the year. The RX is the music you need, right now.

On his new album Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Mama, New Jersey rapper Topaz Jones tries to address some heavy questions. Five years removed from his solitary 2016 hit “Tropicana,” Jones pondered the implications of possibly having a platform with no substance; that isn’t to say that he didn’t have an interesting story to tell, he just had to figure out how to tell it.

In an interview with Rolling Stone, he said, “Now that I have a platform to tell my story, [I had] to really reckon with, well, ‘What is my story? What made me the person I am? What things about myself come from me directly? What things are passed down from my relatives? What’s my generational trauma?’ That was a whole lot of shit to balance out.”

Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Mama is the result of that introspection, and the method by which Jones ultimately resolved how to best answer those questions: A short film of the same name, detailing his upbringing in Montclair, New Jersey, combining magic realism, documentary, and even edutainment television to place his life in historical, familial, and cultural contexts.

The album, sprinkled with audio clips from the film in which his family members recount beloved anecdotes and dynastic legends, spins out of those ideas to verbally expound Jones’ thoughts on subjects like love, legacy, history, racism, hustling, and dreaming of a better life. Over the 13 whimsical, groovy, lush, and occasionally disorienting tracks, he doesn’t necessarily find all the answers, but then again, this was always more of a “finding yourself in the journey” proposition anyway.

Production-wise, Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Mama is something of a masterpiece. It’s rare that any artist puts so much thought into instrumentation and expansive genre exploration — especially with how much territory technology has opened up. Jones charts paths through spacey grooves on “Baba 70s,” “Gold,” and “Blue,” incites some hip-wiggling on the dancey “Amphetamines” and “Herringbone,” and stank faces his way through a thicket of throwback, funky hip-hop on “Who?” with Maxo and Phonte Coleman and album closer “Buggin’.”

The live instrumentation evokes smokey lounges, and darkened basement parties from the 1970s, only more timeless. Musically, the technique reinforces the lyrical links Jones traces throughout his family history and nostalgic narratives. The exquisite soundscapes could easily overwhelm a less adept lyricist, but Jones has clearly been using the time since his 2016 album Arcade to sharpen his pen game.

On “Buggin’,” Jones deftly details a twitchy tableau that could just as easily be a scene set in any hood in America, threading a neat metaphorical connection to insects throughout the narrative the way an auteur might draw the eye to a physical placeholder for a conceptual thought — as only befits a rapper turned director turned back to rapper, explaining his vision with dense wordplay and scintillating twists of the tongue.

Likewise, Topaz lets the syllables spill over each other in his verses on “Mirror,” a self-effacing reintroduction to both longtime listeners and potential new fans that highlights his polished gift for both setting a scene and impressing with dazzling displays of verbose wit. On “Herringbone,” he describes a family reunion in such charming, achingly familiar terms, you might be able to taste the collard greens and smell the macaroni baking in the oven.

Throughout the album, the rhymes sit so snugly within the pockets of the soulful beats that listening becomes nearly interactive; Topaz invites you in, and rewards your interest in every unexpected turn of phrase and tempo change. The tales he tells are personal but relatable; he could just as easily be telling any listener’s story, or that of a cousin, brother, or neighbor at a family reunion, recounting the events of the spell since the last get-together.

And that’s really the answer, told both through the film and the album. Our experiences are universal because the same things move us. The same things are important to us. We can put ourselves in Topaz’s shoes just as easily as he can put himself in ours; the same holds true across generations, geography, and any other line we can draw between ourselves and anyone else. Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Mama is a story about the stories we tell each other and ourselves, the ones that are told to us, and the ones that tell us who we are.

Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma is out now via New Funk Academy / Black Canopy. Get it here.

Topaz Jones Drops The Soulful, Chilled-Out Single ‘D.I.A.L.’

New Jersey’s own Topaz Jones has a new album and accompanying short film on the way, Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma, although prior to today, he hadn’t unveiled a release date for the projects. Now, though, he has revealed that they are set for April 23. Also today, he shared a new song from the project, “D.I.A.L.,” which stands for “dying is a lifestyle.” The track is full of soul and relaxed vibes, with Jones’ lyrical contributions both perfectly existing within the track and standing out on their own.

Jones previously said of the relationship between the album and the short film, “The film is all the things I couldn’t say in musical notes. The music is everything I couldn’t write in words, even though there’s lyrics that speak to it as well, but emotionally, it’s everything I couldn’t necessarily write down and the film is everything that I couldn’t put in song. It is single-handedly the most gratifying, fulfilling experience I’ve had as an artist.”

The film, by the one, isn’t one to be missed: It recently took home the Short Film Jury Award: Nonfiction honor at this year’s Sundance Festival.

Listen to “D.I.A.L” above.

Don’t Go Tellin’ Your Momma is out 4/23 via New Funk Academy/Black Canopy.